Thinking of Dating During Your Military Separation? Read This First
If you're a married service member currently going through a legal separation, you may be wondering - can I start dating other people yet? This is a common question for
military couples preparing to divorce. With your marriage functionally over, it feels reasonable to seek out new romantic attachments. But what does the law actually say?
This article examines the complicated regulations around new relationships for legally separated military spouses. While you may be living apart and untangling your finances, you're still legally married until your divorce is finalized. This means intimacy with new partners occupies an uncertain space under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).
Read on for a clear guide on what's permitted, what crosses the line, and how to protect yourself during this transitional relationship period.
Remain Legally Married During Separation
First, understand that legal separation in the military is an official process with binding agreements covering critical issues like:
- Asset division
- Spousal and child support
- Custody arrangements
- Physical separation into different dwellings
During this separation period, you remain legally married - just living apart. This means you cannot remarry or even file taxes as single until your divorce decree goes through.
The Risks of Dating and Adultery Charges
So can you date other people if you're legally separated but still married? It's risky. Having a sexual or physically intimate relationship with a new partner is considered adultery under the UCMJ.
Adultery remains an offense subject to court-martial. These charges threaten your military career and can lead to demotion, pay forfeiture, discipline, or discharge. Tread very carefully here.
When Is Dating Permitted?
Does this mean no dating at all until divorce? Not exactly. Non-sexual romantic relationships are typically permissible during separation. However, occasional adultery prosecutions still occur for particularly contentious cases.
Your best path is avoiding sexual contact with new dating partners until legally divorced. Discuss any new relationships with your attorney to understand limitations. And don't let a new boyfriend or girlfriend pressure you into intimacy before it's legal.
Other Impacts of Separation
While separated, most military benefits like healthcare, housing, commissary access, etc. continue unchanged for dependents until divorce. Issues like property division and child custody arrangements are made during separation and finalized at divorce.
Guidance From a Military Divorce Attorney
Consulting an attorney allows you to make informed choices about separation vs. divorce and new relationships. Key guidance they can provide includes:
- Advising whether separation or fast-tracking divorce better serves your goals
- Informing you on laws around post-separation dating to avoid UCMJ violations
- Negotiating separation agreements protecting your rights and interests
- Representing you in filing separation/divorce paperwork
Moving Forward Thoughtfully
This ambiguous in-between time after deciding to divorce but before it's official can be challenging. With the right legal guidance, military families can thoughtfully move forward in unwinding their marriage while following rules and protecting their benefits and careers.
The bottom line - tread carefully with new dating and intimacy. Understand the risks and your options. And you'll be prepared to embark on relationships post-divorce.
